Reminiscence

today was the beginning
today is the end
now its broken all of its gone
how would it have been like to have gone on
how would this day be celebrated
i don't know
you don't know
its just difficult not to think

wOrthLesS

Is it worth anything? And why do I care?

Done

i just know that you were never happy never satisfied and that you never accepted me or was not humble enough to accept me as i am forever i am having to work hard having to prove myself to you and that i care about you and that i am trying to make you happy but what did i get in return just your overbearingness and bruises a couple of scars and most of a constant headache form listening to your whining your shouting your problems i always see you praise others i always hear echoes of my failures and i always found the need to redeem myself infront of you i gave up a lot of things and i m still holding myself away from many things that i want but still i just feel you pushing me away mocking me you never thought that i want things or worldly possessions as you might call it from the way things are going i see that i am never going to succeed in my fight
so i am done fighting i dont care what ever you think i dont want to know your opinion neither do i want to impress you please you or placate your ego

Still the Same

today, when i looked out the window of my house i just realized how different everything is, new buildings can be seen where they weren't before and the trees have changed. i realized how much i have lived, how many hurdles i have jumped. i am not the naive little girl who used to sit by the window of my old house looking out onto the neighbors garden imagining ways of playing hide and seek in the bushes, neither do i have that much leisure time to spare. but, to me it still seems only yesterday i sat the O' Level exams, trying to remember everything i had learned, excited at the same time apprehensive. and now, today i am starting my AS exam, again enduring the long hours spent on studying the ridiculous content, so it seems just like a repetition of what i did before in O' Level. this brings me to this thought that no matter how much anything changes or transforms, basically it's just the same thing. However much you change from the outside, how much experience you get, or how mature you become, inside you are still the same person. i may not sit by the window daydreaming, but i still dream whenever i can.

Freedom

No matter how old we get or how much we fight for our rights, we still do not have complete freedom. We are bound by an invisible string holding us within. Other people control our lives influence our decisions,as a result not everything happens the way we want it to. We whine, shout and try to negotiate to make everything right. To get what we want. However most of the time the fights become unreasonable, we get tired of protesting and demonstrating in the end we just have to compromise and settle down to what we have, to fantasies of what could happen and what we could have. But it is also a dent in the ego to realize that we cannot have our own way in everything, and the fantasies become unbearable and the lust for what we do not have overcomes our resolve.....