Monday, September 1, 2008

Anniversary


It was just a colourful spot on the painting of my life. The limited calm before the storm began. Happiness that was both filled with guilt and pleasure. It seemed like a joy as the wanting and needing wrapped around. The balance between the soul and body made the mind to ease and accustom. The beginning of trust rooted into the heart from the seed of love and grew out to foliage into a wonderful time. It was happiness that i had never seen, a sparkling time that I had never experienced. From you i learnt what it was like to feel, to trust, to take and at the same time to give. It was a new secret. The feeling of belonging made the lonliness go away and then..... suddenly it stopped. Just like the first signs of a tornado the hints were dropped and then it came, raging, crashing and destroying everything in its path. Hurt and pain as such i have never known before engulfed me. Sucking me dry, dragging me into the depths of the dark gloom. Outrageous and suffering from the open, gaping wounds that bleed fresh everyday, I try to pick up the pieces and start to put it back together, I just don't know how long or how much effort it will take to accomplish this, and i have some stray thoughts....


Do I want that happiness to come back........
Am I better off like this.........
Did I really care this much, I didn't realise before......
Is it so beautiful and am I crazy not to be mad at you......
How hurt can someone feel.....
How much can someone want..........

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