Fluctuating thoughts

I am uncertain as to what I think. I don't think this has ever happened before. My thoughts are ever changing, my moods fluctuating, my emotions uncontrolled. I am totally new to this. Unknowingly my feelings have become alien to me. An eternity of melancholy has conqured me. A lot of things have lost it's interest. My passion for food, the unsatisfied thirst for it have changed from one extreme to the other. The work which I had craved and always was my priority has no utmost significance at moments. My obsession of race car driving has no real meaning to it now. I am moving over a lot, from one thing to another. I am unsettled, insatiated and disheartend. My brain is biased, what ever I do, what ever I think, where ever I am, there seems to be new thoughts dwelling at the back of my mind. I don't have any idea what to do with them, what to say. Nor do I know how to stop it. As the darkness of the night descends, and the bright twinkling stars shine, I become susceptible to the innumerable secrets it holds. Things that can not be forgotton, moments that could not be banished. I have no reasonable explanation for these sleepless nights I am enduring, for these eccentric dreams that are chasing me in the cold of these hours. All that I know is these things are making me deny some stuff. Things that I want. And preventing me from trusting enough in me and in anyone else to make anything work. It seems as if the ground is swallowing me. Closing over my head, forcing me to its agonising depths..........