The canvas of my life that I am painting here is so bleary and dark. The edges of it smeared with distrust and back stabbing. Somewhere along the way there is a bright light shining trying to light up the hidden corners and heal the wounds. But the wounds are too deep, the scars are too much to be removed and the dark places numerous and too intense to fill up. The only thing that matters is too far away and unrelenting to be wanted. I guess I should move on with my life and try to find out what the gleam in the horizon brings. How ever it still lurks in the corner of the mind, threatening to come out and harass my thoughts when the defenses are weak. When I feel too hurt and exhausted to move on. The shell that’s built around might be too thick for the light to penetrate, but I’ll just wait and see if it can chip to the inner core and find out who I really am.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Enmity
Weedeefee do people think they are? Holed up in there own miseries, throwing up at there own pile of luck. Kicking it in the face, and then thinking that everything will go on well. The looks they give others, as if they are the lords of the world, dripping in polish and sarcasm, pushing there noses high in the air. Looking about themselves in vain. These puny dumped up creatures go around thinking for there own good but wallowing in there own sorrows and despair. Thinking and dreaming of what they let go.
As you, creature from hell, start your damned life in a new phase, turn the page and start afresh in a blackened book, I wish you all the luck and hope that the person gets what is bargained for in an unfaithful and bewitching organism like you. Let your flesh be fed upon by this vile animal whose cravings will never be satiated. Sink those blunt claws into the prize won from trickery, mischief and deviousness. But beware of the wrath you will one day face from the people you once thieved upon. Go crawl into your dark and foul den with that unlucky vixen doomed to failure in treating you as an angel.
Posted by loabi idiot at 10:06 PM 4 comments
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Unvarnished
when one doesn't really care....
there is nothing called happiness...
Posted by loabi idiot at 4:25 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Existance
To be helpless and dependent.
To be misunderstood and betrayed.
Everything has a meaning, and a need.
Desires and hopes.
It cannot be an accomplishment alone.
One needs others for happiness.
Why can't it be unrelenting?
Why can't it stop?
Why doesn't it just go into overdrive and explode?
Why must the illusion be eternal?
Why can't it all end?
Posted by loabi idiot at 1:26 AM 3 comments
Sunday, October 7, 2007
The Beginning
We do not know what it holds in store for us.
The catch is however much you try you just can't find real and true happiness.
The only thing that matters is that you care.
The saddest thing is that even though you try really hard, others do not appreciate what u do. But I do reallly really CARE......
Posted by loabi idiot at 8:42 PM 5 comments
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Meedhen konfadha kameh
dhen vaanee ves ehnnennnu
women vermin ah vefa, quick kiuck ah veema
aaan meehaku ishqee vejje dhen ehemma dhaneee
fassaaleeeyeyyyyy
yeah yeah yeah
dedicated to CROCKY
Posted by loabi idiot at 8:56 PM 3 comments
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Inner Turmoil
Solitude that couldn't be so lonely, that cannot be mustered into peacefulness.
A rage that boils the brain with a heat that bring out the harsh and hard edges.
There is nothing that can smooth it over, cool it down and bring it into control.
According to you all would it be the vermin that crawled out from underneath a rock or would it be the busy bee with all it's honey?
Its a conflict, moreover what can I do when I am so biased?
All I can say is that I am a human, with normal feelings and senses. Even though I try to hide it, I can't deny the fact that it is still there threatening come bursting out, flooding all and everything. A mere crack and it will be all over, this illusion of contentment will evaporate.
This should be stopped, and in order to stop it a decision has to be made. It's not easy when time is of essence and when i don't really know what I need. Some more brains or will power? More time or advice?If it ends anyway all I know is that it will break something vital, and no matter how hard I try it can't be fixed.
So here I am thinking of you, it's just that I was completely confused at that time due to the above mentioned stuff, and if I did anything to hurt you, or make you feel bad, I am humbly asking for your forgiveness and all I know is you never hurt me. The only thing I can say is I am really really sorry.
Posted by loabi idiot at 7:26 PM 5 comments
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Turmoil
Waiting.......
Wanting........
Thinking.......
Wishing.......
Praying.........
Pining......
Bleeding.....
Paining......
Till it happens...........
Or till............. DEATH
Posted by loabi idiot at 10:14 PM 8 comments
Sunday, August 12, 2007
sowie a lot
emmen i am sorry about the last post it was a friend eh ge ethi, she wanted me to post it so i did it for her i am really sorry at that time i didn't know it was a story from chicken soup
sorry to the power infinity
Posted by loabi idiot at 7:48 PM 3 comments
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Eternal Love
Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,"
The owner said,
"I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago.
Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, that's the card that should be sent to you
the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year
since I've been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
where I've instructed him
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.
Posted by loabi idiot at 11:14 PM 8 comments
Sunday, August 5, 2007
The holidays from stress, pressure and all the other plague that seem to dog students is over. So now it is back to reality for all of us.
sheeyyyyyytttttttt
The welcome back to school was hampered by the revelation of unit test marks.
Here is a small description of what happens.
The teacher comes in with a bundle of papers. Everyone is staring at it. Then the hyperventilation starts. The doubts start racing through the mind, unwanted questions. Did I pass? Did I do it well? How is it? Will my marks be the lowest? All those stooopid questions
The teacher starts handing out the papers. Then there comes the request not to read out the marks. At least some are understanding enough not to do it.
This is where the adrenaline kicks in. The heart beat rate increases, its as if the heart is thumping, against your chest, trying to get out.
The teacher comes over with the paper, it almost takes your complete will power not to snatch it from their hand. The paper is in your hand now, the one that will make you float over to bliss or the one that will doom you to damnation.
All the hard work, all the pain, all the time, all the sacrifices, is it enough , is it worth it, did you do all that just for this. The eye streaks up to the red circle. The one that encircles the numerals that is the result, of what you did to achieve your desired marks. One look is enough to play with your mind, as your emotions go haywire..........
Posted by loabi idiot at 7:31 PM 5 comments
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Get well soon
Posted by loabi idiot at 6:23 PM 5 comments
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
The new look
Posted by loabi idiot at 8:33 PM 2 comments
Monday, July 30, 2007
What is this??
Posted by loabi idiot at 10:14 PM 4 comments
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Tagggggeddd
1.Three things you can't do
-bubble gum boki eruvun (dhaskofa vefa ves nuvi)
-swim (float kureve o)
-thun anburanins (ulhe ulhe ves nuvi)
2. Three things you can do
- whistle (yayyyy parrrtyy)
-Ride a bike ( i can do it)
-turn my arm two ways, one clockwise and the other anti-clockwise, at the same time
3. Three things that scare you
- God
- Small ant colonies near me (biruveri dhai alhaafaane)
- Cosmeticians (aarghhhh)
4. Three things you love
- Eating (I luuurrrve it)
-Coke
-Music
5. Three things you hate
- Medicine
- Mughu riha and pumkin (yuccckkk)
- Not having any edible thing in the vicinity (hehe)
Posted by loabi idiot at 5:37 PM 2 comments
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Fluctuating thoughts
|
Posted by loabi idiot at 7:06 PM 10 comments
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
first day in school
I was very eager to start school, but so far everythings going wrong, its boring, stupid and idiotic. I don't like having to go to the new building, i dont like all the repeat programs, i don't like the teacher and i dunno i am not happy with anything. just didnt come up to my expectations and here's the big thing i am just jealous with some people having more free periods than me and having to go to the other end of Male' in the stupid idiotic mendhurugadeege heat. My first impression of chse are the following words:
"I am your teacher.............. I am not your teacher................... I am your guider"
(said in a nidhigadha adu ............... like a drone)
Does not make any sense right? But that was my teachers first words......... so u get what i mean?????
Posted by loabi idiot at 10:39 PM 10 comments
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Loving you
All this time
All my existence
I loved you
I adored you
I cared for you
Every time you hurt me
Every time you left me
Every time you were not there
I missed you
I pined for you
I yearned for you
What I did
What I achieved
What I accomplished
I did it hoping
I did it thinking
I did it longing
That you’ll be coming back
That you’ll be changing
That you’ll be proud
When you came
When you returned
When you turned up
I took you back in
I hoped all my wishes came true
I was overwhelmed
Again it repeats
Again you leave
Again you wound me
I thought you loved me
I thought you cared for me
I thought you cherished me
How ever much it happens
How ever much you go away
How ever much you hurt me
In my mind
In my heart
In my soul
I’ll always love you
I’ll always adore you
I’ll always care for you
Posted by loabi idiot at 10:03 AM 6 comments
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Who you are actually
Posted by loabi idiot at 3:15 PM 11 comments
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Amazing heels
This time m going to talk about this thing that really fascinates me. The other night I went to Aminiya and I saw a lot of girls wearing high heels. It ensnared my attention and I was really amazed and wondered how they could walk in them, let alone stand up without falling down. Well to me it’s a kind of art to balance yourself in thin pinprick points and walk so gracefully, that it captures other’s eyes.
But there’s also a part of me that thinks it must hurt a lot and in my opinion if u step on anything fragile it will break cause the heels exert a lot of pressure as they are very small and are forced to endure all the force you apply on them, anyway enough physics lessons.
I was fascinated enough to try them out so I borrowed one from kudabedhaththa and umm my experience……. Well it sucks. As soon as I stood up I fell down in a crumpled heap and I didn’t try it out after that. I asked one of the girls how they walk in the heels and she said “ effai kureega aneffai alhaaniyyey” hehe ( that’s the direct quote)hehe well its spellbounding to see them walk so charmingly and all I have to say to them is congratulations in perfecting the art and neynge bunaane ehchchehves molhukamun umm will a congratulations, gud luck and don’t try to hurt yourself do? You all are the epitome of balance and charm.Ekm bunan oihaaehchchakeeves hadhaankuraashey vetijiyyaa dheravaane. Dheravejjiyyaa roveyne. Rovijiyyaa ladhugannaane. hehe thats all
Posted by loabi idiot at 1:52 PM 11 comments
Monday, June 11, 2007
Thank you
Posted by loabi idiot at 12:12 AM 9 comments